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| MOMMy |
Yo! Just needed to say Hi..I go back to work this afternoon..I put so many pix on ur other site,it takes me forever to get thru them..I may have overdone it..Ya Think ?? U know me w/my camera & pix..& I haven't even come across the Disney ,Buesh Garden or my Italy pix yet..Anthony keeps buggin to see the pix of the Volcano,that's what got me looking for them.He can be such a little scootch.Boy can he play people like a fiddle..U'd be proud,,He has that Maddolo gift of gab already.This red ain't 1/2 bad..I can actually see it..So ,Let me start to get ready/./Talk to u 2moro..LOve & miss u..I M U & U R ME..
| MOMMy |
Hey U,God,I really miss u today..I really need a good push or a foot up the butt to get myself together..My God,my life is a shambles.All I do is work & sleep..If I didn't have to work,I'd sleep all day.I just have no motivation to do anything..I went thru every picture of u I have in my room..I'm gonna add some to this & ur other website.So many of u as a Baby,that fat little kid u were..So mnay down the shore..I often wonder if Bob wasstill alive,would u have gotten into drugs .U 2 had a special bond.It's good to see u in these pix,cause my only vison of u is still the 1 in the E.R.even after 13 months.I see u lying there looking so peaceful like u were asleep..Den,please make my heart stop hurting..How can I still be alive w/this huge hole in my chest? It's an actual honest to God feeling..Just an emptiness..The lump in my throat hasn't gotten any smaller..Y r some days easier then others?Fridays r always bad..Today is no exception..Please stay w/me..I love & miss u so much..I M U & U R ME..
| Mommy |
Hey Den,Colts::29-17..Can u believe it ? I didn't even watch..If it ain't the Birds,who cares.I can't believe u've already missed 2 superbowls.That's the only reason u wouldn't be watching..with any luck ,there's a bis screen plasma wherever u are. I hope u all don't party to hard..Tomorrow is Nicholas & Emile's heaven dates.Please make sure they visit w/their families.U know how hard it was for me only 2 wks ago..It's not that much easier now..At least I can write to u when ever I want..It's not the same as sitting on ur bed bs'g w/u,but I'll settle for anything right abt now.I'm glad that u have so many Angels w/u,but that means so much grief back here..If any of u could imagine what would be going on w/ur family members,would things have been different? Another ?? w/o an answer..I can't question God's big plan now,but boy if I ever get up there ,I have alot to say to him..Do u know whats going on.?.Can u tell how much Anthony misses u,? How much I need u here ?All that ur Pop is going thru this past year?I hope that @ least ur somewhere safe & know that we all love u,& not wandering around w/o a clue..The only thing that keeps me going is the thought of u in Heaven w/God & ur family members who went before u..No pain,anguish,problems of any kind.Always feeling love & peace..If its any different,I don't want to know..It's the only thing that keeps me sane. It may be the beliefs of a 6 y/o Catholic school girl, w/the Nuns telling us more of their lies,but it's all I have to hold onto now..I can't even think that ur all a bunch of souls .I have to think that ur whole bodied ,dressed, just another day in Paradise.Boy,I know I'm in for a shock,but hopefully we'll all be together wherever it is..Stay w/me & give me strength..help me to go on & do what I have to for Anthony..He's all that matters now.I'm gonna try to get some sleep.,,Sure,talk to u in a few hrs...I love & miss u so much..I M U & U R ME.
| MOMMy |
Hey U,Well,it's Super Bowl wkend.Who would've thought ,DA BEARS & COLTS ?? What happened to ur Birds? U know they woulda if they coulda..remember when Uncle Bill always had the Super Bowl parties? We all had such good times back then.U would've had to work anyway.At least Dallas isn't in the Bowl.I got Anthony's report card yesterday..It wasn't good..Den,please help me to do what I have to w/him..they want to leave him back.I really don't want that ,but he refuses to listen or study.I'm goint to see the teacher this wk..God,I need to do some`thing,between work,this house,trying to do what I have to w/Anthony..It's not easy.What I need to do is stop feeling sorry for myself..Oh well,sorry to drag on & on..I really miss u Bean...I M U & U R ME
| Mommy |
Hey U,Been thinking abt u..Trying to keep it real.U know w/the exception of last 1/2 of 2003 & 1st 1/2 of 2004.we didn't have bad times..God only knows what u were really going thru..U hid it so well.How I wish u would have asked for help sooner.Well the answers are not for me to know just yet.I've kinda accepted that ur gone,but the lump in my throat & this emptiness in my chest just won't leave.I tried to explain it to Aunt Mar last nite..It's just so hard to tell anyone,especially when they answer u wit "I know,I know". No u don't , shut the hell up...If everybody understands ,then tell me why I still wake up EVERY SINGLE nite between 3:15 / 3:45..It's like I'm waiting for u to come in..Lately I just look @ clock & say,"ur early or late ",& go back to sleep..I just do it from habit now..U haven't come to call me lately..I'd really like that,Anthony would too..We love & miss u Baby Boy..I M U & U R ME....
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